Even Trade

Just got a handjob for a cigarette on a dance floor,it was nice.

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coming to terms

The reason I will never be gay is ...fish smells better than shit

Cum Boogers.... By Kevin Farmer (user submission)

Here is an incident that happened 2 me years ago when i was new 2 the sex thing..i'm going 2 share w/ the class i believe..a long,long time ago,in a bedroom not that much unlike most teenage girls bedrooms of girlfriends and hookers past,,4 the sake of not embarrassing anybody,i'm going 2 replace this girls name w/ the word hooker so no1 gets offended or pissy,,sooo,,waaaayyy back when i was all brand new 2 the love making shenanigans,

so far this is the extent of  my "sex life"

i was having relations w/ this hooker i knew..it was awkward and kinda gross and sweaty but still super awesome at the same time...it was only my third actual 'gettin it in' as they say,so as awesome as i knew i would become at this sport of sex,,at that moment i was uncomfortable just a little w/ the whole situation...remember back in high school when condoms didn't exist?..this was back in those days...

You know... way back when we used these...

so i'm 'tappin that ass' all unprotected and stuff i fully believed in this 'pull out method' id heard of on so many occasions..so as i'm about 2 finish i do just that...that pull out thing...and say something like,'mummble,mummble,cumm​ ing,ungh...',,and she starts 2 lower her mug in2 my lap as i'm about 2 cum...i didn't know what the fuck she was doing and in my 'state',w/ my 'situation' about 2 drench this hookers face,,looking back i know i shuda just put it in her mouth..it was a rookie mistake really..

ironically her face looked very similar

so as i'm about 2 finish she's diving face first in2 my lap,,me being the good man that i am,was trying 2 keep her face from getting saturated in my seamen..so I'm pulling my hips away from this hookers face as i release the beast all over her face doing in fact exactly what i was trying 2 avoid the entire time..as it hits her in the face she closes her mouth and inhales thru her nostrils..in a fuckin second,all the shit that was on her face,vanishes in2 her nose...I'm in shock of what i just witnessed when she turns around and throws up on the floor...

Similar to this.. but replace coke with cum and tits with face

that choking gurgling sound as she literally choked on my shit was one of the funniest sounds i've ever had the pleasure of having,,she dry heaved in2 the toilet 4 about an hour as i got dressed and left...one of my favorite hooker experience of all time...thank u class for following along if u have,,and white guy high 5

High 5's

The Most Interesting Man In Boston Just so Happens To be The Most Interesting Man In North Weymouth's Uncle

This Man Is Not Gay..... Maybe

Not All Tits Are Created Equal

looks like Craig Ferguson has been working out

As a fat man I believe I can safely speak for all fat men when I say... Yes, we do like to get our titties sucked.

 

Japan is Fucked

 

Some Left Over Shit From The Bruins Parade

with enough alcohol and enough lube , bruce thought anything was possible

imagine what the sheets looked like when these guys were done

they called it a "marital aide"... I called it "mouth full of vomit"

me posing with the official hockey puck of the Boston Bruins

I dont give a shit what you say ...I refuse to believe this is Spiderman

totally gay shirt on a guy that was totally way to big to call gay

is that marty newell behind that mask?...no .. no its not

that yellow skirt was extremely see through.. we stayed at this spot for awhile

The Time I Pissed On a Hot Chick (Not In A Hot Way)

One day about 5 years ago during a crazy snowstorm I got stuck out at Johnson and Whales College in Rhode Island during a weekend bender, it was actually pretty crazy , in the middle of the night at like 4 in the morning I grabbed some head phones, rolled a blunt , put some Bob Marley Pandora on and sat in the middle of the blizzard and smoked... honestly it was peaceful as shit.. it snowed like 14 inches that night..

this picture has nothing to do with my story i typed blizzard into google and got this and its fucking funny

 so the next day after shoveling out on the way back to Mass i got a text from this chick. Now this chick is a 10.. straight up... I had met her a long time ago , then she found me on Facebook , we did the whole hey you look familiar thing didnt i hook up with you like 5 years ago , blah blah blah blah blah, ... so anyway on the way back she texts me saying lets hang out and get drunk and I can just stay at her house tonight , ...ummm ok.. sold.. high 5 .. now mind you I had never hit it.. i just ran into her at a concert and we just hooked up... so this is like fucking news to my motherfucking ears... She works doing hair down the street from a friend of mines house so i say I'm going to stop over there and get ready to just grab me there, I get to my mans house and he's just getting back from getting his sister a gift, a gift certificate to the hair salon up the street , and he's telling me about this chick that was so hot he had to fucking control himself, I put 2 and 2 together and pull up her Facebook and  ask if this is the girl?...

this wasn't her Facebook picture.. but i told you she was hot

I was her.. so after getting cussed out for being good at being a man and taking a shower, she picks me up . we go out to a bar , no dinner just straight  up fucking drinking....shots , beers, shots, more shots, beer, shots, .. did i mention shots, because we did alot of  fucking shots that night, and obviously the more you drink the more comfortable you are so it eventually gets to the point where we have to get the fuck out of there, so we well.. we get the fuck out of there..get back to her house , now we are fucking wasted, i dont even really remember what happened in that house that night , i honestly can not fucking remember, but i know for a fact some thing crazy happened because when I woke up at like 6 in the morning the palce was a fucking mess, shit knocked over, clothes everywhere, we are both butt ass naked , but the one thing that really was sticking out to me at the time was i was freezing fucking cold and we were laying in a freezing fucking cold puddle.

like this... but with urine

she was still sound asleep.. and i wasnt about to take this one for the team, I had to think fast motherfucker, and just like that i came up with a plan equal parts genius-equal parts flawless. I woke her up by shaking her and saying something along the lines of ..." EWWW WHAT THE FUCK?... you just fucking PISSED all over me, your so FUCKING gross, I can not believe YOU PISSED THE FUCKING BED... WHAT THE FUCK"...dude she totally fell for it, she jumped up , naked, almost in tears , soooo fucking embarrassed, ... i almost felt bad... but like i said, I was not taking that one for the team, .. besides I was trying to hit it again, she wouldn't have slept with me again if I pissed on her.. I dont think that was even her thing.. it never came up...so yes I blamed her... and yes I got away with it ...And yes she felt so bad that she bought me breakfast , that I gladly accepted ... so overall it was a good day, i was naked so my clothes didnt get wet, it wasnt my bed, I pissed on a hot ass chick, and I got bacon.... THE END

Go Easy On The Pepsi Fuller

You ain't shit.....

If your not driving a two tone ford taurus with a wu-tang emblem on the hood.

I Asked For Some Titties

and all i got was this ass with a bowl of cereal on it

Hot Dogs

Cross "seeing Bill Cosby wave a magic hotdog" off your bucket list...

Men think about sex every seven seconds.

Which is why I eat hot dogs in under six seconds...

so it doesn't get weird.

Hot Dogs.... Now In Fish Flavor

27 club lets everyone in these days

I actually like Amy Winehouse... but that's not what this blog is about... so if your going to make fun of her ... make it funny...

Amy Winehouse must be the first Jew in history who's actually shared something......Syringes.

Amy Winehouse is still alive, forensics went to draw a line around her body and she sprung up and tried to snort it. 


Amy Winehouse's Death:
Moral of the story is just because you look like a horse, doesn't mean you get to steal their tranquilisers.



What was Amy Winehouses biggest hit .....Her last one


What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels?...Jack Daniels comes alive when you add coke...


Just imagine how devastated Amy Winehouse's drug dealer is right now.


I like when celebrities die. When I joke around about it everyone thinks its funny. Every other time all I hear is "security get this sick bastard out of the newborn intensive care unit"


Say what you like about smack heads but, they still have the dignity to pay their respects to a lost sister, they have all been wearing armbands all day.


If you find ale in an ale house and whores in a whore house where can you find drugs...Amy Winehouse

I'm sick of people making jokes about Amy Winehouse - She's a heroin my eyes


to be fair, this is probably the longest amy winehouse has gone without drugs in a long time.


At least Amy died doing what she loved best.................... Drugs.


Amy Winehouse's manager has just annouced he is to release Amy Winehouse: Greatest Hits.

It's just a box filled with used syringes.

Why did Amy Winehouse stop doing drugs? ....Because she's dead.

oh snap you got jokes.........

I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."

I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."

cats have lots of free time to unearth things

quincy addiction

this is an activity i used to do on a dayly basis,,now not so frequently due to not being local but pay attention and follow thru and u will be entertained forever..most of u are probobly aware of where the quincy center train station is..if u get off anya the trains there u will notice an escalator as u advance forward,,at tha bottom of the escalator is an emergancy stop button,,as u walk to the stairs, kick this button..i've seen everything from people groping each other,to flat out falls and screams..try this once and u'll be addicted,,,now that u know..use this information and respect always..white guy high five bitchez..enjoy ur shenenagens peoples.. (kevin farmer)

Nice tits

I say it to myself often

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