One day about 5 years ago during a crazy snowstorm I got stuck out at Johnson and Whales College in Rhode Island during a weekend bender, it was actually pretty crazy , in the middle of the night at like 4 in the morning I grabbed some head phones, rolled a blunt , put some Bob Marley Pandora on and sat in the middle of the blizzard and smoked... honestly it was peaceful as shit.. it snowed like 14 inches that night..
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| this picture has nothing to do with my story i typed blizzard into google and got this and its fucking funny |
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so the next day after shoveling out on the way back to Mass i got a text from this chick. Now this chick is a 10.. straight up... I had met her a long time ago , then she found me on Facebook , we did the whole hey you look familiar thing didnt i hook up with you like 5 years ago , blah blah blah blah blah, ... so anyway on the way back she texts me saying lets hang out and get drunk and I can just stay at her house tonight , ...ummm ok.. sold.. high 5 .. now mind you I had never hit it.. i just ran into her at a concert and we just hooked up... so this is like fucking news to my motherfucking ears... She works doing hair down the street from a friend of mines house so i say I'm going to stop over there and get ready to just grab me there, I get to my mans house and he's just getting back from getting his sister a gift, a gift certificate to the hair salon up the street , and he's telling me about this chick that was so hot he had to fucking control himself, I put 2 and 2 together and pull up her Facebook and ask if this is the girl?...
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| this wasn't her Facebook picture.. but i told you she was hot |
I was her.. so after getting cussed out for being good at being a man and taking a shower, she picks me up . we go out to a bar , no dinner just straight up fucking drinking....shots , beers, shots, more shots, beer, shots, .. did i mention shots, because we did alot of fucking shots that night, and obviously the more you drink the more comfortable you are so it eventually gets to the point where we have to get the fuck out of there, so we well.. we get the fuck out of there..get back to her house , now we are fucking wasted, i dont even really remember what happened in that house that night , i honestly can not fucking remember, but i know for a fact some thing crazy happened because when I woke up at like 6 in the morning the palce was a fucking mess, shit knocked over, clothes everywhere, we are both butt ass naked , but the one thing that really was sticking out to me at the time was i was freezing fucking cold and we were laying in a freezing fucking cold puddle.
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| like this... but with urine |
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she was still sound asleep.. and i wasnt about to take this one for the team, I had to think fast motherfucker, and just like that i came up with a plan equal parts genius-equal parts flawless. I woke her up by shaking her and saying something along the lines of ..." EWWW WHAT THE FUCK?... you just fucking PISSED all over me, your so FUCKING gross, I can not believe YOU PISSED THE FUCKING BED... WHAT THE FUCK"...dude she totally fell for it, she jumped up , naked, almost in tears , soooo fucking embarrassed, ... i almost felt bad... but like i said, I was not taking that one for the team, .. besides I was trying to hit it again, she wouldn't have slept with me again if I pissed on her.. I dont think that was even her thing.. it never came up...so yes I blamed her... and yes I got away with it ...And yes she felt so bad that she bought me breakfast , that I gladly accepted ... so overall it was a good day, i was naked so my clothes didnt get wet, it wasnt my bed, I pissed on a hot ass chick, and I got bacon.... THE END
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| Go Easy On The Pepsi Fuller |
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